JourneyDance, 18/156 & other stories

Okay, I haven’t written in here in forever. I will do my best to keep it brief!

JourneyDance… oh, boy. I taught my first class at Sync Yoga in the Bishop Arts section of Oak Cliff and it was amazing! There was a lovely turnout of amazing people who all bravely dove into the work. The studio scheduled another workshop right away with me, so we’ll be doing it again on March 14th! Check the Sync site to join us.

photo by janet lee

I’ve gotten to 18/156 in my Bikram challenge (going to 19/156 later today). That’s about 6.5 classes off my goal thus far but I’m still happy with my results. The most important thing is to keep going, even if I’ve fallen a bit behind. The boy and I traveled to New Orleans for Mardi Gras weekend and I managed to squeeze in a class at Yoga 108 while I was in town. Though I didn’t get 3 classes in during that travel week, I’m proud of myself for even getting to class in the midst of all the madness!

I’ve been branching out a bit, too! Jason had a massage with Celeste at Chrysalis Massage, which was done in the lovely massage room at Sync. While he was getting his rubdown, I took a flow class with Johnny. Totally kicked my ass, but in a good way. I felt so energized after class that I couldn’t get to sleep until SIX IN THE MORNING. Then I woke up at ten o’clock, ready to roll for the day. Now that’s a good yoga class.

So, I picked up Sync’s 10 days for $10 deal and will be taking a few more classes in the next week to add some variety to my normal workout routine. Since the studio is so close to my house and the drop-in rate is so reasonable ($12/class or $95 for a 10-class pass), I’ll definitely be picking up a class here and there to expand my yoga repertoire.

Additionally, I got Jason an XBOX for his birthday and picked up the Biggest Loser game and Dance Central 2 for the Kinect. I’m kind of shocked at how great a workout these games are. I could definitely feel myself targeting key muscles in the BL game and my cardio was through the roof during DC2. I don’t think I could replace yoga & dance with workout games, but they’ll be good when I’m not feeling like leaving the house but still want to burn some calories and build some strength.

Basically: it’s been a VERY busy & fruitful few weeks since I last wrote. I feel motivated to continue on my path of yoga & dance & fitness. And I’m happy. The bursts of joy that come as a result of unabashed self-care are fantastic. Now, off to 19/156.

JourneyDance Teacher Training: Module 1

Wow, I don’t even think there are words to describe the awesomeness that was JourneyDance Teacher Training!

In mid-January, I embarked to The Synergy Studio in San Antonio to dive into this work with the incredible Toni Bergins and about twenty-five other folks from all over North America. So, what the heck IS JourneyDance? In Toni’s words:

“JourneyDance™ moves us through deep, personal exploration into a loving, intimate relationship with body, mind, and source energy.  This sensual and exhilarating union of dance, visualization, and ritual calls us to get funky and divine!

In a Shamanic style, we are carried through an intentional and seamless flow of simple movement sequences and free expression. We are led with exuberance and compassion to a place of authentic communication with our creative spirit, where we discover our hearts’ desires.

We embody our physical temple, unleashing animal energies from within as we ground ourselves.  We explore our inner realms, delving and diving into our ocean of emotion. We connect with our inner shaman creator to burn the mind’s clogging clutter and make space for the abundance of joy that is available to us. As we create this powerful ritual together, we liberate old cellular memories, cleanse the body and mind with sweat and breath, and elevate our vibration.

We open to the joy of life. We are the Prayer: our body, our movement, our breath.  We are the Goddess: our passion, our emotions, our sensual heart.  We are the Warrior: our power, our intentions, our life’s journey.

JourneyDance™ is a transformational experience that does not require any previous movement or dance experience. Travel this sacred and provocative journey, feel bliss, and express ourselves as soul.”

And how.

The six days I was in San Antonio quite literally changed something inside me. I faced a lot of demons, from personal losses to body image issues, and emerged on the other side feeling strong, confident, joyful and embodied. I saw this same transformation happen to so many other people in the room and it was wickedly inspiring. Of course, six days does not fix a life-long struggle, but I definitely felt an energy shift in how I thought about certain things. I had moments of catharsis and moments of ecstasy. I moved some stuck energy out of my body.

One of my concerns going into training was that, as a person with literally zero JourneyDance experience, I wouldn’t feel confident enough after training to begin teaching. I loved the way Toni guided us into teaching – first, in small groups to small clips of music, until we eventually strapped on the microphone and led a longer segment of class all on our own. We took about two JourneyDance classes a day to get really familiar with the “flow” of classes. By the time training was over, I was dying to teach.

It’s almost like I have been training my entire life to teach this work. It’s dance, which obviously appeals to me. But, to be a teacher, you also need a bit of drama, a touch of theatre, a way of engaging & commanding the energy of the room. There is subtlety in the way you lead the class vocally, from using accents to dynamics to just plain noise. There are yogic qualities to the class, notably in the breathing. It requires a deep love and understanding of music and its power and how it moves people, literally and figuratively. It combines so many elements of things I love that I truly feel like I’ve found my path in life.

This work is powerful. This work heals. I have felt it and seen it and I trust the JourneyDance flow in its ability to transform. Now, it’s my turn to give back and spread this powerful movement practice to the people around me, to the people I love, to the people I want to help.

That being said… promo for my first class! Woo hoo!

(graphic design by Julie Beloussow at Sacred Flame)

9/156: A Bikram yoga post

Ah, the best weekends are weekends full of yoga!

I love how I feel when I regularly practice this yoga. I leave feeling calm, positive, and strong. There is just something to sweating – to all salt water, really. Sweat, tears, the ocean. Amazing stuff, really.

I had a huge success today – one of those “every inch a mile” successes, I suppose! I was able to grab my right foot in standing head to knee and hold it briefly. I totally surprised myself. I think I’m bending a little too far and not bringing my foot up enough, but I will take my success today as a step in the right direction!

I got a great spinal compression in camel in class 9, due to me pushing my hips forward farther than normal. Today’s teacher gave the visual of hips over knees, which really helped me to figure out the feeling in my body. I felt euphoric upon release and the room went glowy and fuzzy (in a good way). Some days, I feel like I want to stay in camel for five minutes. That is crazy. But I love it so much!

So, I’m still -4 classes of my target at this point but I plan on chipping away at that this week! I feel great from practicing three days in a row and the next couple days will be in-office-chair days, so I think some early-week yoga is in order. I have a light week with my other movement practices so I have some time to really get down with the hot room.

7/156: A Bikram yoga post

So, last week, I took some time off from my yoga challenge to focus on JourneyDance(TM) teacher training. More to come on that soon, but it was an intense week physically & emotionally and I felt good about pausing my Bikram challenge to focus completely on the process. I’m glad I did. The six days I spent with this magic group of people definitely had a huge impact on me. But this post is not about that!

So, I’m in the 4th week of my 2012 challenge and I’m a bit behind. At this point, I should have 11-12 classes completed and as of today, I’m at 7. When I got back from teacher training, I had a bit of trouble adjusting to life outside my glorious dance bubble. As such, I let myself get in my head about yoga. “I’ll go tomorrow, I’m not hydrated, I’m tired, I have things to do,” etc. But instead of letting myself rest in this place, I decided to get off my butt and into the studio today for class 7.

I had a pretty decent class. I felt strong coming off dancing doubles last week and my hips even felt pretty supple for having not practiced yoga in a bit. I was a bit dizzy in places, likely due to my aforementioned dehydration. I did my best to just breathe through it, but took a knee a couple times to get a better handle on my breath.

It definitely felt great to get into the hot room after a couple days in my office chair. It’s funny, though, I find that the heat is less and less a factor to me. I obviously sweat buckets, but I rarely catch myself thinking, “It’s so hot in here!” Mostly, I notice when it gets a little colder in the room.

So, now I’m working on getting myself back on track for the challenge! I don’t have too much travel in the next few weeks, so I’ve got time for some extra classes. I’m looking forward to it.

Yin yoga

Today, I headed up to Move Studio to take a workshop in yin yoga from Heidi Steltzer.

Oh. my. hips.

So, as I’ve talked about before, my hips are not very flexible. It has caused a lot of tightness and misalignment in my body over the years and I’m actively working into them these days in hopes of opening up and realigning. I’ve been doing some yin yoga on my own, guided by the book Yin Yoga by Paul Grilley, but was excited to really get into it with an instructor and the energy of a roomful of people.

Yin yoga, in short, is a beautiful complement to more yang yoga practices. My Bikram practice, for example, is a yang form of yoga, active and in the muscles. Yin yoga is about relaxing and getting more into the connective tissues (ligaments, fascia, etc). As such, the postures are held longer than in a yang yoga practice. This particular class I took was focused right on the hips – exactly what my body needs.

The workshop was fantastic and I highly recommend it, especially if you have a regular yang asana practice. We did a sequence of postures that were to be sunk into gently and held for long periods of time. Our longest-held posture was ten minutes long! Heidi recommended some modifications for those who were especially tight in the hips and I definitely utilized these in a posture or two but was surprised to find I could do most of it unmodified. I found myself going right to my edge and relaxing into the posture, sometimes with the help of a blanket tucked under my hips for correct alignment or with a yoga block to help offer my upper body support. It continually amazes me how much control and focus it takes to do something as seemingly simple as relaxing.

The hardest posture series for me was definitely dragon. Hooooooo boy. I could feel my old hamstring injury letting itself be known while I was in dragon, so I at one point had to pull back and just relax while my body shook. My awesome massage therapist Celeste has said that shaking is a sign of trauma leaving your body. I definitely felt that sensation during & after dragon. This was one of the places I had to really listen to my body and to release when the intensity became too much.

Interestingly enough, the two-hour workshop seemed to FLY by, which is something I’m starting to notice in a lot of my movement practices. There’s a crazy time warp that happens when you relax and focus and breathe.

I’ll definitely continue my exploration into yin yoga and would certainly take another workshop from Heidi. I loved her gentle nature and insistence to listen to what was going on in our individual bodies. She was very reassuring if you couldn’t hang in a posture, constantly reminding us that our bodies are all different and need different things. I really enjoy a teacher who can keep me from going into my critical brain space. You know that place – where all you can think is, “Why can’t you do this pose right? Everyone else can do it, I bet. You just aren’t doing it right.” That only leads to getting frustrated, which disrupts breathing and focus. Her direction was just the right balance of pushing and soothing. I left the workshop feeling open & grounded in my hips and excited to establish a regular yin practice.

Music that Moves: 1/13/12

Today’s edition of Music that Moves will be entirely from one artist. I am currently head-over-heels obsessed with School of Seven Bells. The duo, consisting of lead singer & general badass Alejandra Deheza and former Tripping Daisy drummer Ben Curtis, craft dreamy, trance-y dance tracks with philosophical lyrics. Their most recent album is called “Disconnect from Desire” -  a concept that’s on my mind a lot lately. Cannot. Get. Enough.

Rest assured, their albums will be in heavy rotation on my trip to Austin & back tomorrow for the first of my Brain Dancing workshops. Keep posted here for more on that. Onto the music!

1. Windstorm

2. iamundernodisguise

3. ILU

5/156: A Bikram yoga post

Man, I could really get used to this good class thing.

Today’s class was another super-focused affair. I did have to squat and breathe a couple times in the standing series, but no postures remained untouched! I’m following my breath and it’s really paying off.

I am having new success with balancing stick, a posture I generally am not even able to attempt in class! I don’t know what it is, but something has clicked in my brain in regards to this posture. I feel like a lot of it is the fight against gravity. Keep the body tight, and keep stretching up and out. It makes my heart almost leap out of my chest but I just take a few deep breaths and then I’m ready for standing separate leg stretching!

I guess the biggest breakthrough since beginning this challenge is that I’ve got more discipline than previously. I have been being very mindful to not wipe & fidget (though I’m still struggling with sweat in my eyes). Breathing has become more important than re-adjusting.

I’m trying to stay very present in my practice. Though I’ve had a string of focused classes where I’m able to tackle the entire standing series, I know that nothing is permanent and I’ll eventually have a “bad” class again. It’s all part of the process but I’m enjoying riding the wave while it lasts!

Class 6/156 tonight! It will mark the second complete week of my challenge. It’s already flying by!

4/156: A Bikram yoga post

I originally planned on doing class 4/156 on Sunday but I spent the day happily resting and reading instead. I was buzzing all day in the afterglow of 3/156 and felt happy and calm.

I was at a desk most of today so I figured a post-work yoga class would be just the thing my body needed. Plus, my office is about seven minutes from the studio! I started this class the same way as the previous one, with some gentle hip-openers and slow, steady breathing.

I didn’t sit out any postures in the standing series again. Yes! I feel like I’m starting to hit my stride. It’s been about a month since I re-started my regular practice and I am really feeling the benefits now. I am taking it slower and steadier, aiming for control and worrying much less about where I am in the posture. Getting through the standing series is something I’ve always wanted in my practice and I’m now realizing that I can do it – I just need to take it slow and breathe.

I have noticed I’m standing more on the inside of my foot instead of the outside edge, which is making a huge difference in and out of the hot room. I can balance much better and actually engage my core. My wonky toes are even laying flatter! I’ve noticed some tightness in my ankles so I’m working on those as well.

Postures that previously plagued me are starting to make more sense now. My hips are more open than ever which is allowing me to settle into the asanas in a way I’ve never been able to before. And, wow, the feeling of my right hip stretching and actually being balanced on both sides? It’s amazing. On the contrary, some postures that I used to love are a little more challenging. It’s a new phase in my practice and I’m just breathing and going with the flow.

I’m beginning to notice that I also hold tension in my right shoulder. I’ve consciously relaxed it several times in and out of class. I think I’m going to try a couple gentle shoulder openers to add to my hip repertoire and see if that helps. Catching myself holding tension seems to be the first step in opening the joint so I’m taking this as a sign of good things to come.

After class, I’ve been noticing soreness in new places, namely in my glutes & abs. That means I’m using those muscles and that’s fantastic. My hips are finally open enough for me to work into my abs. I’ve been waiting for this for a year and a half! Ahhh.

3/156: A Bikram yoga post

I had one of my worst classes ever followed by one of my best classes ever. It’s interesting to see how that repeatedly happens in my practice.

I took class 1/156 on Tuesday and didn’t get back into the hot room until Friday. In those in-between days, I pretty much sat at a desk. My hips were killin’ me. I’ve been actively working into my hips with pretty great success lately but after three consecutive days in a pelvis-tilting office chair, they were tight and grumpy.

I struggled the entire way through class 2/156. It was trouble from the first breath. I was so in my head about everything, completely over-analytical about the details of each posture. I couldn’t figure out what felt right in my lower body. I didn’t feel stretching in any of the right places. I had trouble with my breathing and had to sit out of a few postures in the standing series. I became entirely distracted by a barrage of salty sweat in my eyes, which then turned into eyes full of cranky tears and a further struggle to control my frantic lungs.

I left the studio that night wondering if I’d ever have a good class again.

After a lovely Saturday afternoon jaunt with Jason to Fort Worth to visit the Modern Art Museum, I slapped myself together for class 3/156. I made sure to get there a little early to do some pre-class hip openers (more on the incredibly exciting yin yoga later) and focused on keeping a low, slow flow of breath.

Once class started, I felt entirely in the zone. I kept my breath constant and controlled. It was the anchor to my practice today. I took the postures slowly, step by step. I’m starting to notice a lot of benefits from my out-of-class hip work, the most important being that I am beginning to stand the same on both feet which improves my balance a hundredfold. I could turn my attention to my lungs instead of my hips in pranayama breathing, which set me up for a fantastic & focused class.

The entire standing series rocked harder than I knew possible. I didn’t have to sit out postures! I had a lot of success in standing head to knee, just balancing on my locked leg and trying to reach my foot. I felt like this was a class in which I was really trying all the postures the right way. It was as if my body just clicked into alignment and I was working through each posture slowly and methodically. I very much felt the flow of class without any forays into my headspace. Just body & breath.

The post-class energy has been incredible and I’m starting to notice changes for the better to my dietary cravings. Oh, benefits of a regular practice, how I love you! Just goes to show that your bad, or shall we say, challenging classes are where the change happens. Every day, I am grateful for the struggle. Until next time!

1/156: A Bikram yoga post

I will be attending a minimum of 156 Bikram yoga classes in 2012.

“Well, that’s a random number,” you might be saying to yourself. Not really, silly! 156 classes averages out to 3 classes a week, which adds up to a consistent practice.

I love, love, love my Bikram yoga practice but it seems that I have a problem with falling into extremes. I began my practice at the very end of June 2010 and attended 139 classes by the end of the year. I attempted two 60-day challenges in 2010, completing one and hitting 56 days on the other. I was on fire! I could do anything! WHEE!

Then, 2011 hit. It hit hard. My practice slowed to a stall. I managed to only hit 47 classes in 2011 but I am treating myself with compassion over this one. I needed to do what I did in 2011 and I’m coo’ with it.

So, 2010 was hardcore, 2011 was a slump, and the goal for 2012 is balance. I can take as many classes a week as I like but the goal is at least 3. I realize there will be weeks where 3 classes are not possible for me (due to travel, or sickness, or intensives in other movement practices), so I can bank extra classes in other weeks if I need to. However, since the goal is a balanced practice, I’m going to aim for 3 a week in as many weeks I can. For me, the line will be drawn by my anxiety level – if I’m stressing hard about fitting in a yoga class, maybe I should just pause, breathe, and take a make-up later when it makes more sense.

So, welcome to my journey of taking 156 Bikram yoga classes in 2012. I have already taken one class of the aforementioned 156 – a class in which I had trouble finding my breath and spent a lot of the standing series on my ass. But I got off my couch and into the room, so it was a success. So it goes!